Our participants: Chris, 14; Daniel, 13; Denzel, 13; Khoseem, 12; Miranda, 15; and Skyler, 15; are all from the Toronto area; Cassandra, 12, from Gander, NL, and Trystan, 11, from Airdrie, Alta., joined us by conference call. Thank you to Boys and Girls Clubs of Canada for helping us gather this group.

Trust and freedom

TP What’s the hardest thing to talk about with your parents, and what’s the easiest?

Skyler School is probably the easiest. Problems you’re having with friends or in relationships, that’s probably the hardest. Often they say, “Oh, you’re young. It doesn’t matter.”

TP It feels like they don’t take it seriously?

Miranda They think you should just suck it up.

Chris When I talk to my parents about friend problems, they’re like “Oh, I don’t care about your friends, I care about you.”

Denzel Say if you don’t like something, but then you change your mind, they think your friends are influencing you.

Daniel Like if I didn’t like rap music and then my dad heard me listening to it, he’d be like “Oh, I see the friends you’re hanging around with are influencing you.”

TP What would you like your parents to understand about your life?

Miranda I want to be able to go to parties, not be stuck in the house on the computer.

Khoseem Not have to be like “I missed the greatest party of the year.”

TP What are your parents worried about at parties?

Denzel Drugs.

Skyler Drinking, drugs, sex.

Miranda Date rape.

TP Is it fair for them to be worried about that stuff?

Daniel Oh, yeah.

Skyler It’s fair, but we can take precautions. If I want to go somewhere and my mom doesn’t trust the situation, I’ll tell her, “I’ll call you every hour.” That’s what freedom is for people our age — parents can say no if they feel really, really uncomfortable, but they should be open to talking about it with you.

TP So it’s really about negotiating.

Daniel I’d like to not have my parents tied to me, to be able to go places without having them say, “Why don’t you let me drive you? I could drive you.”

TP Can you give an example of what you mean?

Daniel Say I’m going to a party. They’ll drive me there and then come inside — and stay. I have to say, “Go home!”

Denzel Your parents should understand you’re getting older, not younger, and they should give you more freedom. They tend to want to keep you closer because you’re going on Facebook, meeting people, becoming a young adult...

Miranda They don’t want to lose you.

Khoseem Especially if you’re the youngest and the last one off, they really want to keep you in close.